*The original publishing of this blog was April 7, 2009
Dear Val, You are wonderful, and a work in progress, never doubt how far you've come and always stay focused on the blessings of this moment. I love you, more than I remember to show you.
So today was a regular day as are most....got up early, dropped off little one, bought chewy chips ahoy at Tom Thumb, got Maddy to help me bag them up into snack bags, went to work, worked on grades and PDAS, (spring time usual) had a meeting, then got home and had another....Life is grand...even though some days are jam packed with stuff I have to do.
The second meeting I had consisted of me and a relatively new stranger....she mentioned that upon meeting me she wasn't sure what I was about, felt as though I was holding back and waiting to get to know her before I blossomed before her eyes today....Well, good, so true. I'm a bit guarded these days and I learned that from my daughter Lauren. So it occurred to me that if she felt I was a bit standoffish, she's probably not the only one.
I was left with the lingering desire to go to my new favorite spot, it's a vegetarian place on Oak Lawn, known for it's eclectic out there Indian schematic. I've been there about 5 times in a month. I really enjoy the atmosphere and food.
I took the opportunity to have dinner at my new favorite place with my favorite person....Me....
I tried to promise myself a phone free dinner, but since I'm a twitter addict I took the phone with me, in order to deny the fact that indeed I was eating alone. Well, besides the people in the brightly colored house. The chai is amazing, I could drink it all day long , so long as it's soy.
Well, now here's where I get introspective...
Found out that my childhood best friend just had her 3rd baby!!! WOW and she was the one who said she'd never have any! I guess that's how it is. So after the shock I started to compare our lives...initially we started off together, her first baby was born three months after mine. I was married she was not...Today she is and I'm not....Lately that question has been on my mind, of whether or not I'll ever have anymore children, relatively young enough but seriously feeling as though the age gap between the first born, who is now 15 would be kind of be detrimental. So I ponder this and I force myself to stop analyzing it because reality says....why the hell are you even going there!?
As my night alone ends I get a couple of surprise emails that confirm that all is ok in my world. The emails were two and one said, "i think you are the most wonderful woman on earth" and then another quickly following...."when you look into the mirror be thankful for the person that God has made you, i love you Valarie."
Now...it takes one helluva person to send that kind of positive energy while I'm at my craziest, lost in my own dark over thinking mode, the remedy no one could predict as accurately unless they were connected to my soul, I believe he is. I'm blessed, no doubt.
All is right in the world again....
No comments:
Post a Comment